Disforterror - Impalement and Holocaust Stench EP

01. The Armoured Bestial Black Goat War
02. Bloodshed
03. Infernal Blasphemous Attack From Black Wrath
04. Impalement of Jesus and Their Followers
05. Brutality and Orgy
06. March to the Apocalypse
07. Possessed by Fire





Ok, where to start.  Disforterror is a Brazilian Death Metal act that's currently made up of one dude named Vagner Warrior Impaler, because in Brazil one invented "kvlt" name isn't enough apparently.  They have yet to release a full length album and this is technically an EP, even though it has as many songs as many full length metal releases.

So the first 30 seconds of the album had me going "Fuck Yeah!",

DISCLAIMER:If you're a Disforterror enthusiast or don't like reading long reviews you may want to stop reading now,

My elation fell off faster than a limbless bullrider.  At about 30 seconds in 2 things happen, things get real relentless real fast and the vocals start.  Oh god the vocals, where to begin, imagine the tard-hulk that was in your high school (everyone had one), now imagine getting him hammered, now imagine that his entire vocabulary was comprised of Satanic lingo, now imagine getting him real pissed off and having him start screaming random Satanic words from his vocabulary over and over while sounding hammered and real pissed off...there you go!  Seriously, I haven't heard vocals this bad since...ever!  Not only does he sound like a constipated kid with downs syndrome, but this guy is to metal lyrics what Kurt Cobain was to lyrics if you cut out everything but the parts of songs where he yelled the same words over and over for like a minute.

You honestly hear such gems as:
DISFOR
DISFOR
DISFOR
TERROR
TERROR
TERROR
DISFOR
DISFOR
DISFOR
TERROR
TERROR
TERROR
blahblahGOAT WAR
blahblahGOAT WAR
blahblahGOAT WAR
blahblahGOAT WAR

and such others as:
SATANLORD
SATANLORD
SATANLORD
SATANLORD
SATANLORD

over and fucking over in every goddamn song.  The kicker, the parts that actually had me laughing out loud in my car was when the vocalist started doing little back-and-forths with himself which were obviously edited in.  He'd start in a low voice and be interrupted by himself with a higher voice, which would then be interrupted by his low voice again, over and over, yelling the same words, like:
SATAN
satan
SATAN
satan
SATAN
satan

Seriously, what the actual christfuck?  Ok, I know, they're from Brazil and maybe don't know much english.  SO DON'T USE ENGLISH LYRICS!  Other bands that I love from other countries use their native languages and I still love them, even if I don't understand, like Taake singing in Norwegian and Alcest singing in French or Drudkh in Ukrainian!  Here's the funny part, I've read interviews with Mr. Impaler and he does know quite a bit of English, so there's really no excuse other than retardation for this trainwreck of vocal compositions.

Enough about the vocals, they're not the only offender here (albeit the worst offender).  The guitar is bland, generic, and uninspired.  I've listened to this album no less than 20 times trying to decide how much I hate it and I counted all the "good" riffs I could.  There are 5...FIVE on the WHOLE ALBUM.  The first 30 seconds counts as one, and the others are short and easily missed.  The guitar is at this really irritating pitch too, it stays in the same key and the same range the entire album and plays a total of like 6 different notes, it's like they were playing with a guitar where most of the frets were missing and just decided to wing it.  And the solos (oh yes, there were solos) are so painful, it sounds like Mr. Impaler literally just hit random notes and wanked the whammy-bar as hard as he could through all of the solos on this album hoping it would sound like he knew what he was doing.  Well if that was the plan it fucking failed like Boris Yeltsin's liver.  You can also barely hear the guitar at times thanks to the awful mixing and the overly loud drums and bass.

The drums were decent at best, but so unbelievably monodimensional(like the whole album really).  It literally interchanged between laboured sounding blast-beats(mostly these, more blast-beats than most black metal releases) and double-pedaling with a lot of unnecessary symbol work for the entire album.

"ITS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT, IT'S RAW!" you say.  Ok, I get raw, I love raw, when it's backed up with decent material.  Albums like Darkthrone's Transylvanian Hunger and Immortal's Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism were raw as hell, but were backed up with excellent riffs, vocals, and interesting musical concepts throughout.  Simply being RAW doesn't justify being otherwise shitty as well.  I'll give you a visual comparison:

Both of these are uses of raw fish, certainly raw is not the factor that's driving you to enjoy the one example over the other, it's how it's compiled and presented.  If raw were good enough for fish you'd be getting an unscaled dead fish on your plate at the sushi restaurant and certainly no wasabi and ginger.

To sum it up this album sucks like a thousand-horsepower Hoover™ and will most likely never grace the inside of my stereo or my ears again.  I'll give it 1.5 for having 5 good riffs and being short.

TL;DR - RATING 1.5/6 - FUCKING AWFUL

Tsjuder - Desert Northern Hell

01. Malignant Coronation
02. Ghoul
03. Possessed
04. Lord of Swords
05. Helvete
06. Mouth of Madness
07. Unholy Paragon
08. Sacrifice
09. Morbid Lust





Ok, none of this "for the uninitiated" crap this time, because I'm just discovering this band myself.  They're from Norway and seem to draw influences from just about every other BM band out there.  Straight to the album...

This album is defined by Tsjuder's (pronounced Shoe-der) dogma of "no compromise" and there is definitely NO compromise.  From the first second of "Malignant Coronation" to the last second of "Morbid Lust" this album kicks your fucking ass.  This relentless black metal assault is nothing but 50 minutes of head-banging ass-kicking good times.  Right off the bat I'm reminded of early Immortal, Darkthrone, and Mayhem, but with a much more modern production quality.

The guitars are clear and excellently played.  There is no shortage of riffage in this album, that's for damn sure, and the guitars never get lost in a endless drone.  There is precise tremolo picking, wonderful sweeps, and excellent technical work over all. There is definitely some punk and thrash influences in the guitars here, which also lend to the earlier Darkthrone comparison I made.  Many of the songs have sections with high, fast, discordant riffs that are very reminiscent of early Mayhem and bring back wonderful feelings related to that era of black metal.  Overall, nothing bad to say about the guitars at all, grade A black metal guitar work. (Bass is pretty much the same, and I'm happy that you can actually hear it [due to the decent production quality])

Vocals on this album aren't really anything extraordinary, though they are executed flawlessly.  The voice of the singer is somewhere between Abbath(Immortal) and Hoest(Taake) and the vocals work perfectly with the riffs and passages.

Drumming is fast and precise and basically shares a lot of the same traits as the guitars in terms of influences.

Overall the album is a non-stop onslaught and if you like aggressive music period you should find something you can rock out to here.  For me it's a spot-on black metal release with almost 0 room for criticism, I simply can't find anything to bitch about here.  Definitely recommending this one, it'll be staying in my CD player for a while, that's for fucking sure!

Some things to note are the wonderful progression of "Mouth of Madness", the super thrash-punk feeling "Sacrifice", and the riffs throughout the middle of "Morbid Lust" which to me were very reminiscent of "De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas"-era Mayhem.

I said I probably wouldn't do it ever again, but here it is, the very next review :s

Rating: 6/6 - FUCKING AWESOME!

Taake - Noregs Vaapen

01. Fra Vadested Til Vaandesmed
02. Orkan
03. Nordbundet
04. Du Ville Ville Vestland
05. Myr
06. Helvetesmakt
07. Dei Vil Alltid Klaga Og Kyta






Ok, for the uninitiated again, Taake is a one-man Norwegian Black Metal project, the creative project of Ulvhedin Hoest.  Hoest blends thrashy black metal with some punk influences and all sorts of other influences.  This lends to creating the BEST current Black Metal band...there... I said it.

I've loved Taake since I first heard the Ummeneske single a couple years back, and everything I check out by this guy is solid fucking gold.  Noregs Vaapen is no different.

 From the epic intro riff to "Fra Vadested Til Vaandesmed" to the epic outro riff of "Dei Vil Alltid Klaga Og Kyta" there is no let down here.  Every song has it's own genius and all are worth listening to.

Hoest's trademarked vocal sound is at it's best here; the high piercing vocals screaming like a banshee out of hell with a serious vendetta against someone.  Never do you feel that he's straining to maintain the wonderfully evil sounding screech he has perfected and never fails to impress.  Hoest's vocals aren't the only ones worth mentioning though, as this album has an all-star lineup of guest vocals.  Fenriz from Darkthrone on "Fra Vadested", Attila Csihar from Mayhem on "Nordbundet", Demonaz from Immortal on "Du Ville Ville Vestland", can it really get any better than that?  Fenriz' contribution is the most notable for sure and really works perfectly with the pace of "Fra Vadested", creating a kind of punk feeling that is reminiscent of current Darkthrone material.

The guitars on this album sound better than they ever have on a Taake album, and the level of production is almost "sacrilegious" in the world of Black Metal, but really allows the listener to hear all the layers of guitar and bass work that are going on here.  The same can really be said for the drums, everything sounds great and the production quality is unmatched so far in Taake's catalog.

A few specific moments I want to point out.  As I've mentioned, the beginning riff of the first song is epic and wonderfully grips the listener and drags them kicking and screaming straight into the onslaught that is this album.  The tone of "Orkan" is much different, providing a brooding feeling that contrasts beautifully with the first songs upbeat nature.  The crazy soaring solo that ends "Du Ville Ville Vestland" is beautiful as well and lends something that is very lacking in Black Metal (awesome solos).  The next thing I'm going to mention is probably the most noted on this album and something that is reallllly fucking cool.  The banjo solo at 3:20 of "Myr" is possibly the best thing I've ever heard done with Black Metal and made me burst out laughing and mess my pants at the same time.  It's so fun and random, yet works flawlessly with the black metal atmosphere.  It's something that makes you go "Fuck Yeah!" and just kicks the track from the realm of "Great" to "Orgasmic" in an instant.  Seriously, go listen to it, now.  The soaring shrieking guitar work of "Helvetesmakt" is great too and worth noting.  Well...what isn't worth noting in this album?

TL;DR - this album is perfect...simply perfect...and even Taake is gonna have a hard time topping it (then again I thought that about Taake's 2008 self-titled).  If you haven't heard Taake yet and you love Black Metal you need to stop whatever you are doing right now and go listen to this album.

I may never do this again, because it's hard for me to do for any album, but I'm doing it for this album.

Rating: 6/6 - BEST ALBUM OF 2011.

Mayhem - A Grand Declaration of War

Track Listing:
WHO THE FUCK KNOWS











Ok, for the uninitiated.  Mayhem is one of THE founding father bands of Norwegian Black Metal.  They started up in the late 80's/early 90's along with other bands such as Burzum, Darkthrone, Immortal, Ulver, and the like.  Their first vocalist, named "Dead", shot himself in the fucking face and Euronymous, the original guitarist and one of the "greats" of Black Metal took photos and made necklaces out of Dead's skull, which he then gave to those he considered worthy.  Anyways, couple of years later Varg Vikernes of Burzum offed Euronymous with a knife in the face and went to prison.  After numerous lineup changes mostly due to deaths we arrive at the late 90's lineup of Mayhem, Necrobutcher (the only remaining original member), Blasphemer on Guitar, Maniac on Vocals(who also actually did vocals earlier on Deathcrush), and Hellhammer on Drums.

So, in 1999, we end up with this, Grand Declaration of War, with Maniac at the creative helm. This is an album that has remained highly divisive among Mayhem fans, and Black Metal fans in general.

The album starts with what seems like a call to war, a call to war against Christianity, which seems like a great premise for a Black Metal concept album, especially one by one of the forefather bands of Black Metal.  The image of war drums and Colonel Maniac rallying the troops to war with propaganda and hatred whilst riding atop a Satanic steed is intriguing and backed by a relentless Black Metal assault, which continues for the first 5 tracks.  The savagery of the drums and guitars evoke mental imagery of hell-scorched wastelands and warfare.  At the end of track 5 we are met with the sound of an explosion, and then quietness.  So far the vocals have been wonderful, the guitars have been clear, yet not overproduced, and the drums have been precise and strongly evoking the idea of marching with the Satanic horde towards battle.

The only problems with the album so far may be a slight excess of spoken word verse vs. actual vocals and some slight over usage of certain riffs, but this is totally excusable due to the wonderful cohesion of the album so far, and the great technical work by all members of the band.

Now if the album had stopped here and was just an EP with 5 tracks I'd be giving it 6/6 as a wonderful Black Metal concept recording.  But it didn't end here...

Suddenly, from the hell-scorched wastelands and the war against the Christian menace we are transported to... a goth nightclub... with the most out of place industrial track ever.  A drum machine and heavy vocal-synthesizers, along with keyboards and electronic sounds.  It's like Maniac decided to channel Marilyn Manson halfway through the album.  Now, as I said in my Gorod review I love stuff that makes you go "What the fuck man?"........ WHEN IT STILL WORKS WITH THE ALBUM.  This track has no place anywhere within 20 miles of the Satanic warmachine we've so far encountered, and sullies the middle of the album with it's mall-goth atmosphere.

Well, after it ends, we go back to Black Metal, and decent Black Metal at that, similar to the first half of the record.  Track 8 has a similar feel to the first half of the album, and track 9 has a nice progression which seems to be leading to something a little different.  Track 10 follows up with that, then we hit Track 11, which is nothing but Maniac stating "I remember the future, a new beginning of time."  Which I thought was leading to something...but didn't.  Apparently that's the end of the album... atleast for 4:30 of fucking silence, then a 7 second track with nothing in it, then Track 13, which is just apparently a riff they forgot to put in a different song, because it just plays the one section for 2 minutes and then ends the album.  Done, nothing else, no proper ending in sight.  Apparently Maniac remembers the future (which probably doesn't mean anything, I'm not giving this guy a lot of intellectual credit), but didn't remember to finish the album.

The way this album ended makes no sense at all, NONE.  The layout of the album, track wise made no sense, NONE.  They don't even really tell you which song is which.  This is the back of the album.
By normal logic, one would assume there are 8 tracks on the album

01. A Grand Declaration of War
02. In The Lies Where Upon You Lay
03. A Time To Die
04. View From Nihil
05. Il Principe Part a) A Bloodsword and a Colder Sun
06. b)  Crystalized Pain in Deconstruction
07. c) Complettion of Science in Agony
08. d) To Daimonion





Now, this would make sense if there were 8 tracks...but there are 13.  WHAT ARE THE NAMES OF THE SONGS MAYHEM?  ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GUESS?  It seems elementary to tell your listeners what they're listening to, and Mayhem's done it before on previous albums, but apparently either no one conveyed the proper instructions to the printers or there are songs with multiple parts that aren't marked on the case.  Either way, it's confusing.

Now, here's how this album SHOULD have been layed out.
Track 1
Track 2
Track 3
Track 4
Track 8
Track 9
Track 10
Track 5

In that order, that way we'd not break the concept that the majority of the tracks hold, and end with the same riff we started with (which is on track 1 and track 5).  This would have made the album flow perfectly, and I probably would still be giving it a 5 or 5.5/6.

But folks, the fact of the matter is that they DIDN'T lay it out that way.

The weird industrial section in the middle of the album, the weird ending to the album, the lack of cohesion between parts of the album, and the excess of the spoken word verses make the album fall short of what it should have been.  Maniac's excessive dicking around with creative license seems to have butchered this masterpiece.  It's like a plastic surgeon having a supermodel on the operating table and going "Hmmm, how can we make her better," then the surgeon suddenly has an aneurysm and thinks it's a good idea to cut the big, hairy mole off her ass and stitch it into her forehead.

So yeah, I like most of the tracks off this album, but kinda hate the album as a whole, which is a hard feat to pull off, but Mayhem seems to have accomplished it.  The horrid stitching together of the whole thing kind of leaves a bad taste in your mouth that sullies the rest of what could be a great album.

They didn't do this with Deathcrush, Des Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, or even Wolf's Lair Abyss (all of which I fucking love), but apparently something tragic seems to have happened in 1999 and we have this.

I recommend this album still, for fans of Mayhem and just die-hard Black Metal fans, but I suggest skipping tracks 6, 7, 11, 12, and 13, and play song 5 at the end, because it's the ending the album should have had.

TL;DR 3.5/6

Storm Corrosion - Storm Corrosion

01. Drag Ropes

02. Storm Corrosion
03. Hag
04. Happy
05. Lock Howl
06. Ljudet Innan

Ok, so again, for the uninitiated.  Storm Corrosion is comprised of two of the greatest songwriters and musicians of the last couple of decades, Michael Akerfeldt of Opeth fame, and Steven Wilson of Porcupine Tree fame.  These two have been long time friends and have lent to each others works over the years, Steven Wilson producing many Opeth albums and Michael helping Steven with some PT stuff.  Anyways, they decided that finally the two of them would collaborate on a project independent of their bands(other than drummer Gavin Harrison, from Porcupine Tree, who did the drumming on this album).

This album is kind of what I imagine a drug-induced coma to be like, in every positive sense of that statement.  It's dreamy, it's creepy, it's brooding, it's proggy, it's everything I love in a "chill" album.

Right from the get go you know it's going to be something special with the wonderful string harmony and the sirenesque vocals of Akerfeldt that bring you into "Drag Ropes".  The vocal work of both Akerfeldt and Wilson is Grade A in general and Grade A on this album, they fit the atmospheres perfectly.  Akerfeldt's vocals in "Drag Ropes" accent the creepy darkness of the off-tune notes that jar the dream-like atmosphere.  Wilson's vocals provide a relief from the darkness, and when used together with Akerfeldt's create a wonderful harmony.

From the slow creepy progression of "Drag Ropes" we move on to "Storm Corrosion", where Steven Wilson takes sole control of the vocals.  This piece is the perfect example of why I love Steven Wilson's voice and Akerfeldt's acoustic guitar work.  Everything about this song just lends to the image of sitting at a window in a dark room and watching the raindrops roll down the glass with the soft roll of thunder in the background.  (In fact this image could almost apply to the album as a whole, but especially on this track).  I've listened to this album probably 30 times since I got it and this song never fails to give me a shiver at some point in the listen through.

"Hag" continues with an almost heart-beat like bass rhythm that continues throughout the piece, pacing it like a steam-engine that just keeps on rolling, eventually hitting an aural hill of some of the only distorted guitar parts on this album.  Over the hill it continues, with flutes and the bass line, rolling on and on.  While not the most interesting track, it's still worth a listen, and keeps the album moving through it's midway point.
 

The least aptly named track, "Happy", is one of the more intriguing.  The vibe on this track is far from "Happy", with a very eerie harmony of Steven Wilson's vocals and what I think are Akerfeldt's falsetto vocals.  There is also a very discordant  kind of break, that leads into the main body of the song, which consists of more of Akerfeldt's beautiful acoustic guitar work and the meandering vocals of Wilson, intertwined with repeateded appearances of the eerie harmony from the beginning.  This track is beautiful, but disturbing, ending with some very odd industrial noises that kind of make you feel like you're staring uncomfortably long into the eyes of a mannequin, almost expecting it to blink.

"Lock Howl" may be my favourite song on the album, if not it's a close second to "Drag Ropes", I can't decide.  The track again begins with a kind of chugging acoustic guitar line which flows throughout the entire song.  There's more of the same wonderful vocals and guitar work here as in the rest of the album, but what makes it stand out happens about halfway through the track.  We encounter a section with a clapping rhythm and a guitar/flute section that is very reminiscent of moments on Opeth's "Ghost Reveries" album, which I also love.  The use of chimes and multiple layers of acoustic guitar on this track is just wonderful, and the flutes add a wonderful air of mystery to the whole thing.

"Ljudet Innan" is a kind of dissapointing end to the album.  I'm not going to say it's bad, but it could be better.  After all the wonderful work that went into tracks like "Drag Ropes" and "Lock Howl" it feels like they kind of just shit the bed on the outro and said "I dunno, we need another track, so let's just have Michael do some awkward falsetto and then kind of let this boring rhythm meander for ten minutes aimlessly to end it off?"  It does kind of have a bit of a Pink Floydy spacey vibe which some people could appreciate, but it just seems to go on forever and ever and does nothing interesting in the ten minutes it takes to end.

So, to sum up, I loved this album in (almost) it's entirety.  I've had it on repeat the entire evening and have no plans of turning it off anytime soon.  If you love Akerfeldt's softer work or really any of Steven Wilson's work you'll love "Storm Corrosion".  In terms of a rating, I'll give it 5/6, because that's how many tracks I loved off of this album.

RATING: 5/6

Gorod - A Perfect Absolution

01. Birds Of Sulphur
02. Sailing Into The Earth
03. Elements And Spirit
04. The Axe Of God
05. 5000 At The Funeral
06. Carved In The Wind
07. Varangian Paradise
08. Tribute of Blood

Ok, a little background for the uninitiated.  Gorod is a tech-death band from France that's always kind of stood apart from the pack in my opinion.  Ever since I heard their first album, Neurotripsicks, back in 2006 I was hooked.  Their trademark sound is comprised of very technical guitars intertwined between heavy bass chugging and excellently precise drumming.

Where to start with this album, well the vocals are a good place.  Guillaume Martinots death vocals are replaced by Julien "Nutz" Deyres on this latest album.  The first thing you'll notice is the range of different sounds in the vocal arsenal of Deyres.  A lot of the mainline vocals don't sound horribly different from what Martinot brought to the table, but there are lots of exceptions.  From the pig-squealy intro to "The Axe of God" to the low, spoken-word style vocals in "5000 at the funeral" to the excerpts of actual singing ( a rare instance for Gorod up till now) in a couple of the tracks it is clear that "Nutz" is a decent vocalist with a good range of tricks in his bag.

In terms of guitar work not much has changed since "Process of  a New Decline".  The guitars are technical as ever, without going into the realm of "technical masturbation" which is easy as hell for tech-death bands to fall into.  The thing I love about Gorod, and have loved ever since their first album is their songwriting ability.  The guitars flow with the song and help pull the pieces together, instead of just presenting meaningless chunks of riffing and chugging.  The bass guitar is just as detectable as the leads in the mix and it all just fits together so well.  A bunch of "trademark" riffs return from older albums as well, in certain songs, and you'll never doubt you're listening to a Gorod album.  

I've always used the term "groovy" to describe Gorod, and this album is just as "groovy" as anything else in their catalog.  Death metal DID in fact evolve from blues to a degree, and the bluesy groove has not been lost by Gorod.

Now, the crazy stuff, exactly why I love Gorod more than the other contenders in this crowded genre.  Gorod brings a lot more to the table than just chugga-chugga-riff-riff, and throw in some stuff that may make some metalheads go "what the fuck man?", but in the best way possible.  From the slow meandering bluesy riffs of pianos, guitars, and what I think is a cello at the beginning of "5000 at the funeral" to the wacky "Starsky and Hutch" style rattles and guitar wah-wah-ing and eventually what my brother referred to as "Death-Mamba" in the middle of the same track, with sounds that almost make you think you're headbanging in the Caribbean, Gorod never fails to amuse.  Throughout their discography you can grab little snippets of things that make you go "what?" and that's what I love the MOST about them.

My only complaints at all would be that some of the vocal work gets a bit boring at times, and as cool as the "Death-Mamba" and "Starksy and Hutch" stuff was, it was a little out of place.  I gotta say  something negative, don't I?

So, to conclude, this album definitely did not disappoint this long time Gorod fan, and even makes a great place to start for curious listeners.  This album is technical, but flows in a way many other tech-death bands could learn from.  Gorod is consistently improving, and have been with every album since their debut.  Definitely pick this one up if you're a fan of tech-death or just groovy metal in general.

RATING: 5/6

Intro

Well, here's the first post.  My name's Dave, I'm 23, from a small shitty town in central Canada, and I'm a music addict.  I listen to whatever I can get my hands on, from Black Metal to Folk Music, Punk Rock to Ambient Noise, Jazz to Rap, everything in between.

I have a lot of opinions when it comes to music, and I'd like to share them, thus I'm making a fucking review blog.

If anyone cares, Zushakon is a deity from Henry Kuttner's 1939 short story "The Bells of Horror", and is a gigantic, black, winged leviathan god that descends from the darkness and persuades through madness the unfortunate few who uncover his tomes to tear out their own eyes.  I've always liked the story and figured it was "kvlt and grim" enough for a blog that's mostly going to be metal.

So yeah, this shit will be updated from time to time when I feel like it, but don't expect any regularity, if anyone actually finds and reads this shit.